i haven't written in this thing in months.
i live in DC now. it's weird and i think i hate it but i'm trying to stop saying that. So in the spirit of not saying that i hate DC, i'm going to talk about how much i love it.
there are lots of museums and a great zoo here, and it's all free! i haven't had much time to go and check it all out but kyle will be visiting this coming weekend and it'll motivate me to take him to the various landmarks. i've met some amazing people here as well and it's made the whole experience great.
i have permanently etched something on to my skin. i think it only just hit me that this thing isn't coming off. fuck. c'est la vie?
i'm in another funk. i'm doing everything i can to not fall so deeply into this one. going out, working like a maniac, throwing myself in groups of people.
it's thundering and raining. perfect weather to go for a run.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
well, i guess that i could use somebody
Someone like you.
Awkward running into your ex and his girlfriend (who was his ex, and the reason why you broke up, because she "screwed him up" so bad... but they got back together).
Even more awkward when he text messages you that night, after not speaking with one another since june, to ask you why you've become a stranger. That's funny, you hide behind pillars and walls when you see me. Remember when you used to do that when we would walk into restaurants/buildings/clothing stores/whatever whenever you'd see her and then apologize for 6 hours to me about how you just can't stand the sight of her?
I literally don't have time for this.
Can someone please explain to me why boys do this?
Just leave me alone and give me my fucking cardigan back.
I'm going to need so much god damn therapy come november 5th. My job has made it so I really don't have time to deal with anything and that's going to really screw me over once this is done.
Everything decided to fall apart at the wrong time.
Awkward running into your ex and his girlfriend (who was his ex, and the reason why you broke up, because she "screwed him up" so bad... but they got back together).
Even more awkward when he text messages you that night, after not speaking with one another since june, to ask you why you've become a stranger. That's funny, you hide behind pillars and walls when you see me. Remember when you used to do that when we would walk into restaurants/buildings/clothing stores/whatever whenever you'd see her and then apologize for 6 hours to me about how you just can't stand the sight of her?
I literally don't have time for this.
Can someone please explain to me why boys do this?
Just leave me alone and give me my fucking cardigan back.
I'm going to need so much god damn therapy come november 5th. My job has made it so I really don't have time to deal with anything and that's going to really screw me over once this is done.
Everything decided to fall apart at the wrong time.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
whyyyyy
why am i such an awkward freaking person? i don't know...something is wrong in my brain, i'm convinced of it.
Monday, July 7, 2008
Monday, June 30, 2008
ughhh
I have no time to think about anything anymore.
But I have time to think now before I go to bed. (ugh, I freaking hate this part of the day)
So I was going through my closet this morning as I was trying to run out of my house and I noticed the ridiculous amount of clothes I have from an ex. You know what really pisses me off about this? I freaking told him 600 million times to take his shit back. I'm not going to throw it away because that's just stupid, but seriously why would you down right freaking refuse to take your crap back? I want my crap back but it was like a subject that he would completely avoid when I'd bring it up and would tell me that I was overreacting and to stop trying to put so much finality to things. Awesome how we don't talk anymore now because, you know, I really didn't like that cardigan that was impossible to find when I was looking for something like that for months.
Dear Men,
WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKING RETARDED? GET OVER YOURSELVES.
seriously. i hate you all.
love,
aida
You control your own situations and how you want things to turn out. You can look at things negatively or positively, it is completely and entirely in your hands to determine whether or not you will let certain situations "screw you up" so badly that you are incapable of treating a person like a freaking human being.
Best part is that it is also entirely in your hands not to go back to those situations that messed you up so badly to begin with but some people are so god damn retarded that they keep running back and putting themselves with the same people who do the same things. It's like Amy Winehouse who keeps going back to smoking crack even though pictures of her like this keep resurfacing:
At least with Amy it's an actual physical dependence.
Whatever, I care more for my clothing than i do for anything else at this point.
I suggest watching the movie Wall-E to be reminded of how freaking pathetic society is.
But I have time to think now before I go to bed. (ugh, I freaking hate this part of the day)
So I was going through my closet this morning as I was trying to run out of my house and I noticed the ridiculous amount of clothes I have from an ex. You know what really pisses me off about this? I freaking told him 600 million times to take his shit back. I'm not going to throw it away because that's just stupid, but seriously why would you down right freaking refuse to take your crap back? I want my crap back but it was like a subject that he would completely avoid when I'd bring it up and would tell me that I was overreacting and to stop trying to put so much finality to things. Awesome how we don't talk anymore now because, you know, I really didn't like that cardigan that was impossible to find when I was looking for something like that for months.
Dear Men,
WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKING RETARDED? GET OVER YOURSELVES.
seriously. i hate you all.
love,
aida
You control your own situations and how you want things to turn out. You can look at things negatively or positively, it is completely and entirely in your hands to determine whether or not you will let certain situations "screw you up" so badly that you are incapable of treating a person like a freaking human being.
Best part is that it is also entirely in your hands not to go back to those situations that messed you up so badly to begin with but some people are so god damn retarded that they keep running back and putting themselves with the same people who do the same things. It's like Amy Winehouse who keeps going back to smoking crack even though pictures of her like this keep resurfacing:
At least with Amy it's an actual physical dependence.
Whatever, I care more for my clothing than i do for anything else at this point.
I suggest watching the movie Wall-E to be reminded of how freaking pathetic society is.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
something i will never understand...
so as some of you may know i am currently single. why is this relevant? well because this last week has really opened up my eyes to something i just really do not understand whatsoever.
yes, i am single but no i am no where near the mental stability needed to be in a relationship. i tell this to everyone. i know i am not and it's very clear to my friends that i am not. so, the thing that i don't get is after i tell this to a boy i'm talking to and let them in on my life story this past year and everything that has happened and lead up to me being in no position to go around dating or seeing anyone they still attempt to ask me out or kiss me or whatever. i freaking don't get it. this has happened 3 times in the last 4-5 days.
i am a nut job, i know i am a nut job, i tell everyone i am a nut job so why do boys want to date me when i make this so incredibly clear to them?
why can't i talk to a boy with the intentions of being friends with them because they are nice and not have them immediately think that i want something more than that. it's so frustrating and annoying and makes me want to lock myself in my room and never speak to anyone again.
so for all of you boys out there reading this, when a girl tells you that they are insane and psychotic and are in no position to be in a relationship please listen to her because you're only going to make her more psychotic and more insane and more of a nut case, like i have become.
let's be real the only person i would really want to date right now is paul banks and it doesn't look like that's going to happen anytime soon... god damn you helena christensen.
oh and P.S the other night we jumped in a pool we weren't supposed to jump in to and did it spontaneously and i felt so strangely liberated. i want to do that more often.
yes, i am single but no i am no where near the mental stability needed to be in a relationship. i tell this to everyone. i know i am not and it's very clear to my friends that i am not. so, the thing that i don't get is after i tell this to a boy i'm talking to and let them in on my life story this past year and everything that has happened and lead up to me being in no position to go around dating or seeing anyone they still attempt to ask me out or kiss me or whatever. i freaking don't get it. this has happened 3 times in the last 4-5 days.
i am a nut job, i know i am a nut job, i tell everyone i am a nut job so why do boys want to date me when i make this so incredibly clear to them?
why can't i talk to a boy with the intentions of being friends with them because they are nice and not have them immediately think that i want something more than that. it's so frustrating and annoying and makes me want to lock myself in my room and never speak to anyone again.
so for all of you boys out there reading this, when a girl tells you that they are insane and psychotic and are in no position to be in a relationship please listen to her because you're only going to make her more psychotic and more insane and more of a nut case, like i have become.
let's be real the only person i would really want to date right now is paul banks and it doesn't look like that's going to happen anytime soon... god damn you helena christensen.
oh and P.S the other night we jumped in a pool we weren't supposed to jump in to and did it spontaneously and i felt so strangely liberated. i want to do that more often.
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